The Chaos Collection

A New Series for All You Chaos Goblins Out There!!!!

Hello and Welcome to my new series called the Chaos Collection.

The Chaos Collection is a once monthly collection of the chaos in my life.

I will share what I’ve been reading that month, what I’ve been watching, what I’ve been listening to (books AND music), how the book is going, and any other random shit that I can think of lol

So without further ado, here is my first edition of the Chaos Collection

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August 2024

Holy Fried Macaroni and Cheese Balls how is August already over? Like HOW?!?!?!? This doesn’t even make any sense. I feel like I blinked and we were back to school again.

Speaking of Back to School, I am SO FUCKING GLAD SCHOOL IS BACK IN SESSION.

I always felt this way as a kid too lol why?

BECAUSE ROUTINE, DUH.

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Anyway, I like the order and routine of school and the school schedule. And so do my kids. I am very sad I didn’t get to see Iz start her first day of 4th grade. But I do believe that she will be back with us for the school year next year! Lu LOVESSSSSS school so much. Yesterday she said to me “Mom, some of my friends just don’t understand that cucumbers and tomatoes are fruits! I told them that if it has a seed it’s a fruit, but they don’t get it!”

I then had to explain to my sweet 5 year old that most don’t know that information and that there are going to be quite a few times in her life where situations like that happen and it’s your job to kindly educate them but make them feel included as well. Who knows if that got through, she could end up going to school telling her class she’s smarter than them… which she isn’t wrong but we’ve talked about that as well lol

So school is back in session, I still only work 10hrs a week at my house manager job, I have not started getting unemployment yet and I have applied for over 100 jobs…. NOTHING.

Manifestation Epiphany’s

I recently realized that the games I play on my phone for money, just play mistplay all of those, are potentially hindering my ability to manifest sustainable income into my life. I’m not focusing my energy into visualizing and journaling and etc, I’m focusing my energy on fucking block sort, garden merge, and dice dreams… like what?! I have shiny object syndrome with money… it’s an issue that I have been working on for that last 2 years to unfuck…. we are getting there.

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Moving On

What Did I Read in August: (why the hell can’t we underline yet?)

I don’t think I finished a single book in August. I started a fuck ton though.

The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma By Bessel A. Van der Kolk

Every time I open this book, even if I only read 2 pages, I learn something mind blowing. You know when you already have the knowledge on something but it takes someone rephrasing it in a way where it finally clicks? Well that’s me with this book. I KNOW the body holds onto trauma but the how, why, what happens to the body, I never fully could conceptualize… until now. I’m only like 1/4 of the way into the book but I will trudge along reading one chapter at a time lol!

The 5 Money Conversations to Have With Your Kids at Every Age and Stage: by Scott Palmer

So I have no idea how to talk about money with my children. Why? Well because if you are of the same generation as me, chances are your parents never talked about money with you either. Parents and School teach us step by step to do so many things but no one teaches us how money works and how to use it effectively, what the different avenues of wealth are, and how to FUCKING MANAGE IT. UGH I have mega beef with this lol anyway, I’m reading this book so I can talk to my girls about money and hope they have better success than I did.

Deeper Than Money: Ditch Money Shame, Build Wealth, and Feel Confident AF By Chloe Elsie

I’ve been following Chloe and Deeper Than Money almost since the beginning of my financial awakening 2 years ago (have you noticed that I finally started unfucking my everything about 2 years ago? lol) She is around my age, grew up semi similar as me, and made very similar steps that I did in college. She’s fucking real with her advice, suggestions, and actionable tips. She doesn’t make you ditch your latte (or in my case, energy drink), but shows you how to adjust your budget to give you the life you want while still keeping you financially stable. I HIGHLY recommend it if you are a millennial.

Rich Bitch: A Simple 12 Step Plan for Getting Your Financial Life Together… Finally by Nicole Lapin

So this book came across my lap on accident. I was looking up money, budgeting, and manifestation books in my library app and Nicole’s popped up. I’m sure it’s going to be a lot of the same shit as the other money books I read. But I’ve learned that I like to absorb information from ALL different types of people from all walks. It helps me understand the fundamentals of whatever it is.

Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game Changing Insights about your relationship, your money, and yourself By Shaunti Feldhahn

My last marriage was a shit show when it came to money. Shame, guilt, and cluelessness on my side. Zero fucks, lack of motivation, and mental investment into other areas on his side. Leading to: $150,000 in student loan debt (90k was mine), $30,000 in credit card debt (8k for my tits and 8k for his hearing aids 🙄stupid VA), and zero idea on how we even got ourselves in most of those places to begin with. SO on that note, I was determined to not do this again.

D started ahead of me in the money management game. While he’s had to work on things as well, he definitely was quite a bit further ahead of me in budget management lol SO that’s where this book comes in. For most of my life there was a lot of emotional messiness around money. Not talking about it, keeping secrets from dad, money sent to me secretly, and shit like that. I don’t want that in my life, my grandma had that and my mom had that. That shit ends with me. So here I am reading 1000 books on money lol

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Moving On

What am I listening to?

Audiobooks:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

I’ll start by saying I am a Brene Brown junkie. While I’m not one of her roadies following her speaking engagements, I do fucking love her books. I appreciate the practical advice but the social AND scientific aspect of her work. She was the first person the even teach me what shame truly was. I struggle to name and understand my emotions sometimes and this book is literally a guide for that. 10/10

Rewire: Your Neurodivergent Toolkit for Everyday Life

Ok, remember how I said I need to hear something like 5000 times before I can comprehend it through my thick skull? Well, same concept with tackling my neurodivergence. It’s hard as fuck living with my brain sometimes and D also struggles with living with my brain lol jk he struggles with similar challenges. This book was literally a toolbox. In fact, it was so good that I will be relistening to it and making a whole post about it. The actionable items in the book were revolutionary for me. All thanks to D. I have no idea where he heard about it (probs Joe Rogan lets be honest) but I am so thankful he shared it.

Mastering Your Mean Girl

I just started this… I’ll let you all know how I feel about it next month but needless to say, Teighlor is getting another eviction once and for all!

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And this months On Repeat playlist from Spotify includes:

Yung Gravy, Judah & the Lion, Bryce Savage, Sueco, and like 30 other artists.

This is the specific playlist. I’d love to hear what this months repeated songs say about my August mood lol Let me know!

What Have I been Watching?

D and I just finished How I Met Your Mother. We both had seen most of the series before but had never finished it. Newsflash, we were just as annoyed by the last season as everyone else. Either way, culturally I think it’s a good watch. Very on par for our generations version of Friends, Frasier, or Seinfeld.

We have one episode left of Kaos on Netflix. I still don’t know how I feel about this series. It is a modern day Greek mythology lifestyle. Think Sara J Maas but TV and Greek Gods. But Zeus is a MANIAC… which I kinda knew he was but this show just really put that on blast. Either way, we will finish it and if that’s your jam and you aren’t bothered by a good amount of gay sex, then I’d say give it a try!

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How’s the book going?

Well the serialization aspect is going extremely well. The organization of messages and pictures from Facebook messenger from that time is absolutely mentally exhausting.

Not only does it take FOREVER to sift through thousands and thousands of messages and pictures, it also is really emotionally draining. I recently read the message thread from the day Lily died.

Me to my Pocket Friends: Guys, Lily’s not doing well. she’s not ok

Friends: 1000 different what’s wrongs and omg what’s going on

30 minutes later me: Her heart stopped, she’s gone.

OOF DEEP BREATH.

That was hard to retype as well and I can feel my throat getting tight thinking about those moments all over again. Ope here come the misty eyes.

God you guys. This shit is hard as fuck. But I know I have to do it. I’ve been getting shit thrown in my face energetically to prove that I need to do this. So I’ll keep typing even if tears are running down my face.

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I think that’s all that happened in August…. I think lol

If you want to read something specific during these collections let me know! I’m happy to share literally anything!

Thanks for reading the Chaos

Much Love,

Taylor Cecelia Brook

p.s. wanna make my month? Vote on the polls below! Or share. Or Comment. Or Heart. Or don’t. Whatever makes you happy :)